Digging through his bags, Judas hummed lightly under his breath, the warm afternoon around him slowly darkening as the sun began to set and evening set in. He should be back in Ara in plenty of time though, and there was no rush to the man's movements as he retrieved the last of a bag of seeds, once full nearly to the point of bursting but quickly devoured by his ever growing flock of hungry companions, only his fletchling Zeno regularly stubborn enough to refuse the offered food, though sometimes even the ill tempered firebird would steal some in. Some of the others often also got their own food, more then once he was sure Socrates had been hunting or foraging when she vanished into the woods, though she always claimed that she spent her time adventuring out to train herself in seclusion, building a shroud of mystery and power as best she could around herself, the archen all pretenses of pride to hide the doubt lingering under. Judas himself only glimpsed it here and there, but some of the others could tell. Certainly Zeno never paid attention to her boasts before, and Archimedes had quickly tired of them when the archen kept pressing further.

Whistling, Judas summoned his flock to him as he settled himself sitting beneath the shady cover of a large branching tree. Spreading seed across the ground and the last of it cupped in his hands as he let Archimedes and the taillow each from his hands, he watched them in contentment, his hands wrapping around a drawn up knee when the last seed was pecked from his palm. Tranquility washed over him, and he hummed again, watching the avians settle among each other, a sort of mismatched feathered family of his own. Aristotle, slowly beginning to shake off her sleepiness as night began to creep in, was stretching her wings, dark diamond marks glinting as feathers caught the last sun's rays. She yawned, ruffling herself out, her head twisting to study Judas as she perched on the grass. < You going to eat as well? > He blinked, his hum dying away a moment as he considered the question. "Hm? Me? Oh... I have anything with me here. It's alright, I'll be fine."

For a few minutes she was silent, Aristotle seemingly satisfied with he answer as she watched the others and glanced around the grassy forest clearing. Then she took flight, arcing towards the tree above them and a moment later returning with some berries in her claws, dropping them tender beside Judas. "Oh!" He murmured, his hands falling away as he studied them, picking them up and looking to Aristotle a moment, speechless. Then, a smile cracked his features gratefully, warmth spreading across his face. "Thank you Aristotle." He murmured gratefully, cleaning their surfaces with the edge of his sleeve before taking a cautious bit out of the first, testing it. Savory juice met his tongue, sweet and tangy, a pleasant bursting flavor filling his mouth. A noise, of approval and contentment, and steadily he worked his way through three of them, surprised mildly by how much he enjoyed the strange fruit.

Yawning as he dabbed his lips with a napkin, Judas stretched, his back arching into the bark of the tree behind him. Lethargy seemed to have crept upon him without warning, the fading gold of the sky above comforting as it invited sleep in, his eyelids growing heavy as he relaxed against the tree behind him again, beginning to slump into himself, trying almost vainly to keep his heavy lids from closing. But... why not? A nap wouldn't hurt, he was familiar with this area... just a short one, he could pack up and get to Ara during twilight.... a sigh leaving him, he let his eyes close fully, lazily letting his head fall forward to rest on his chest. A minute or two later and his breathing had fully evened out and he slept soundly.

Breath caught a moment, then, yawning, Judas began to stir, slowly, sleepily. Then suddenly Judas was wide awake, though they didn't move beyond stiffening suddenly, eyes flickering open, snapped to attention and alert. Pre-dawn touched the sky a pale blue, and in the tree above the trainer and scattered around them Judas' birds perched, a few half dozing, taillow's head tucked in her wing and Zeno in a branch above dozing, though the others were all surprisingly still awake. Archimedes cooed softly, perching on Judas' shoulder and the others all snapped to attention, watching their trainer with an oddly intent stare. Judas' skin prickled in fear and discomfort. Something was wrong. Very wrong. They didn't feel the same. The air, the area around them, all was familiar, but they felt wrong. Sensations were missing, other sensations were there that didn't belong, that were unfamiliar and dis-jarring. Terror quickened their heartbeat, their team almost suspiciously quiet watching them, Archimedes eyes sparkling with curiosity, Socrates baffled, Aristotle and oricorio worried and Taillow sleepy but seemingly awed.

She finally dared shift her muscles, straightening her aching neck and lifting her head from her chest and daring to look at herself as her body shifted, chest raising with a sharp inhale of breath. She froze again a moment later, eyes squeezing shut, refusing to look, disbelief and shock twisting her features painfully as panic and fear took over, her breath coming quicker as she grabbed at the grass under her hands, fists tightening as she gripped them hard enough to turn her knuckles white. She started shaking, a tremble racking her body.

Judas' mind was a cacophony of terrified jumbled startled thoughts. She was a woman. A woman. How? It wasn't possible! She couldn't be a woman, she was a man! It just... it didn't.... she couldn't.... how? She kept trying to herself it wasn't real. It couldn't be. It was impossible to go to sleep and just.... just wake up a different sex! That's not how the body worked, how the body developed, all the hormones, the different organs, the different builds and shapes and processes and genes.... it wasn't possible. It couldn't be. It couldn't be.

A sob wracked her, silent, and Judas curled into herself. The heaving of her chest, the feel of her body, so familiar yet so alien, everything shaped wrong, it alienated her and panicked her further. Her chest felt so heavy, like it was suffocating her, she felt heavies, she felt... shaped wrong. Everything was wrong. Wrong. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and on the verge of hysterics, she hugged herself, hating the way her arms wrapped across her abdomen.

A coo, gentle hooting, the sounds of her pokemon filtered in to Judas through her hazy mind. How long they had been talking she wasn't sure, but their chatter filled the air now. < Are you alright? > Came Aristotle's careful concern, followed by the wave of the wonder and curiosity of others. < You became a female! How did you do that? > < Could mate properly now, lots of pretty children > < Oh you poor dear, you look awful. It's alright, being a woman won't be that bad, and now we can help teach you how to be a proper lady > Another voice drifting, snide. < Not like he wasn't already more woman than man anyways, now he just has periods and is shaped like one > Hisses and angry chattering, glares shot towards the tree as Judas' shoulders racked with another sob as she curled into herself further, unable to form words, unable to think properly.

And even when Judas managed to calm enough to stop crying, she looked only a step from it again as she hugged herself, flinching at the chattering of her companions as they mused and wondered at her or began excitedly talking of what this meant. It was wrong. She was not right. Archimedes and oricorio were conspiring together, excitedly laying out plans for what to do now that Judas was a woman, Aristotle by his side trying to offer reassurance, taillow chatting excitedly to a Socrates still watching him in confusion. Yet all Judas could focus on was the feeling of her hands as she stared at them, clasped before her chest. Everything was subtly different, some parts of her more then others, but it was as though she had been remodeled. Would she recognize herself in a mirror? One hand kneaded the other in the palm, her fingers more pointed with rounded tips then squared off. Then her hand traveled up, touching her face gingerly, fingers splaying lightly to touch sensitive lips, angled jawline, sharp arched brows. She traced lines down her neck, hesitating before he chest, even in her own body feeling it wrong inherently somehow. Hand falling, she began massaging her thigh, nervous tics surfacing wherever and however they could, anything to attempt to release the anxiety flooding her. Azure eyes kept dancing around, staring down at her hand massaging her leg only to flicker up suddenly, dancing around.

How long passed? The sun was risen. Numbly, Judas pushed herself to her feet, her balance strange, slightly off, stumbling steps as she fumbled to check her bag was there. Birds fluttered around her, Archimedes chatting as she landed on Judas' shoulder, oricorio matching her opposite while Taillow fluttered in the air, Zeno hanging back and eventually taking flight. Aristotle glided overhead and Socrates paced by her side, but Judas hardly seemed to notice, her shoulders slumped as she struggled towards Ara village. She couldn't stay there. She had to... to go to home. To get herself a room for the night. Something... somewhere... anywhere.

---

Judas barely left the apartment room she rented for several days. The face that looked at her from the mirror was familiar, but not right. Her hair was brushed differently, more... feminine, but other then that she had done little to figure herself out. Her clothing, once comfortably just on the loose side, was now tight in the hips and chest, and often she spent many an hour seated at the edge of her bed, lost in thought. What did this mean? What was the purpose of it? She couldn't seclude herself forever.... was there any way to change this? Everything she had ever learned had told her this didn't just happen. Was it possible to get surgery and hormones, change her sex? It would be expensive, the resources that went into that, the complications... was her body actually making female hormones now as though it had never been male to begin with? It felt unreal. Wrong. Even spending a few days in her new sex did little to alleviate that. It shouldn't be possible. It couldn't. So how had it happened?

Judas felt helpless and miserable, a creeping depression and anxiety taking hold of her.

What could she do? What was she supposed to do?